The War on Valentines Day

We tend to think of political correctness in schools as a relatively new concept, but the truth is that many of its elements had already seeped into our educational system by the mid-1960's, sometimes with unintentionally hilarious results. When I attended Immaculate Conception elementary, starting in 1967, a particular (and peculiar) rule about Valentine's Day had already been in place for a couple of years, at least: In a nutshell, anything you did for one person had to be done for your whole class.

My mother was a world-class baker, and just about every year she made special Valentine's cupcakes for me to share. (Which by the way, I understand is no longer permitted.) They were white cake with either pink or red icing and a small piece of mellocreme candy in the shape of a cherub or heart on top. In that case, the rule was understandable; it wouldn't be right to bring in cupcakes for just a select few classmates. Where things got a little dicier was with regard to "Valentines," the little cards that you would give out, theoretically to girls (or boys or whatever; not judging here) you liked. If you look at boxes of Valentines today, they are pretty non-specific, with pictures of Frozen characters and Transformers and sports teams on them. Many don't even mention the word, "Valentine." It's not a big deal to give your 2nd grade buddy Bill a picture of a Transformer and have him give you back a picture of Cam Newton. But it wasn't exactly like that in 1967.

St. Valentine is the Catholic patron saint of "courtly love," and pretty much all the available Valentines back then took that theme more-or-less seriously, so you wound up giving your buddy Bill a red heart with an arrow through the words "Be Mine," and he gave you a picture of a diaper-clad infant holding a bow and arrow and proclaiming, "Love." There wasn't inherently anything wrong with that, of course, but it was just a wee bit outside the typical range of interactions between 8-year-old boys, at least so far as I can recall. Even further down the scale of appropriateness was the fact that we often gave special Valentines cards to our teachers, who were... uhmm... nuns. Looking back on it... I mean, if a teacher today were found to be in possession of a card given to them by a student which proclaimed some of the sentiments professed in cards I gave to women of the cloth, there would be, at a minimum, a thorough investigation. What can I say, it was a more innocent time.

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