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FIELD NOTES: QuackRNaut? You decide.

The offices of RS Byrnes Associates, the firm where I worked as a consultant from 1998 to 2004, were located in a two-story office building near the intersection of Carmel and Pineville Matthews roads in south Charlotte. We shared the ground floor with an insurance agency, and the upstairs cycled through a variety of different tenants, including a masseuse, a computer repair shop and an architect. Our suite had previously been occupied by a dentist’s office, which explained why there was occasionally the faint odor of burning enamel. Sometime around 2002, a hypnotherapist set up shop in one of the upstairs office suites, and I struck up a conversation with her one evening on my walk to the car. She handed me a business card that listed the maladies and addictions she claimed to cure through her hypnosis sessions; smoking, overeating, fear of flying, etc. She said if I was interested, the first session was free. 

While I didn’t have any of the issues listed, I was kind of curious about how (and if) it worked, and I thought seriously about scheduling my free introductory visit. Since I was hardly ever in the office and it wasn’t a priority, I never got around to it. 

Hypnosis is an activity that falls somewhere in the spectrum between legitimate therapeutic technique and parlor trick. Google the name of your city and the word “hypnosis,” and you’ll see what I mean. You will likely get an equal number of hits for therapeutic practitioners and folks who will work your child’s birthday party; balloon animals available at an additional cost.  

Adding to the confusion, it turns out hypnotists do not have licensing requirements in most states, and even where they do, it’s just a matter of filling out a form and paying a fee. In North Carolina, it is harder to become a licensed irrigation installer than to mess around with people’s psyches. You just need to hang a shingle and recruit clients.  

Of course, if you want repeat customers, it’s probably best if you actually know how to hypnotize. Fortunately, that’s not a difficult or expensive skill to acquire. The leading school for hypnotherapy is the Hypnosis Motivation Institute (HMI). Founded in 1968, HMI is a nonprofit, nationally accredited college. But there are other options, as well. An online company called Udemy offers a “fully accredited diploma course” in hypnotherapy for $14.99. That’s not a misprint. For less than the cost of a bottle of wine and just six hours of your time, you can become a certified hypnotherapy practitioner.  

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good retirement plan to me. I can picture it now; a dark-paneled office on the second floor of an upscale office building: incense and soft music. I even have a name and logo picked out. I’m calling my practice QuackRNaut, and the logo will be a duck in a spacesuit.  

QuackRnaut. You decide. 

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