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FIELD NOTES: Don't sell yourself short

At lunchtime the other day, I went through the drive-through line at McDonald’s, pulled up to the speaker, placed my order, and paused a beat waiting for the inevitable follow-up question: 

“Would you like to short-sell that?” 

“No. I just … wait … what? 

“Would you like to short-sell your number 2? You borrow a Big Mac, fries, and Coke from us today in the hope that the price goes down, then you can buy them from another store at the lower price and give them back to us tomorrow, pocketing the difference.”

“Yeah, I know what short selling is; I just wasn’t aware that the Golden Arches was involved.” 

While that may sound far-fetched, is it really? A year ago, my decade-old SUV gave up the ghost, and I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to get to replace her. I located precisely the vehicle I wanted – a used midsize truck – at a nearby dealership, took a test drive, and was prepared to write them a check for the purchase price. They literally would not take my money.

Over the next excruciating hour, it became abundantly clear that large suburban dealership was not in the business of selling cars and trucks. They had ZERO interest in moving the vehicle off their lot. What they really wanted to do was involve me in a complex financial-services deal that may or may not have involved an actual truck. And I’ll be danged if they didn’t succeed. I am now the proud owner of some sort of reverse annuity-derivative-stock option scheme, which, as an afterthought, came with a new vehicle.  

Exacerbating the situation, I get a near-monthly email from the dealer asking if I want to give them back the truck in exchange for a newer one and an even more convoluted financial deal. I think that one involves mortgage-backed securities, Dogecoin, and a free Blockchain keychain.

And it’s not just car dealers. Try to buy a phone, computer, refrigerator, mattress, or even a  lawnmower – basically anything with a sticker price over $100 – and you’ll get the same kind of runaround. There’s even a company called Klarna that will let you buy products costing as little as $10 on an installment plan. 

Sure, “buy-now, pay-later” has always been a sales tool. I remember my mother putting winter coats and Christmas gifts on “layaway” at JCPenney way back when I was just a wee lad, but that was different. Those stores were trying to move merchandise by offering creative payment options. Retailers today are trying to make a profit, maybe the majority of their profit, off of financial services. I have no problem with a business making a dollar, but I do believe a business’ priority ought to be selling the product they sell. It seems lots of companies these days have forgotten that fundamental principle.


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